Kay Francis believes in telling things like they are. So when you ask the retired 81-year-old librarian how she is managing with being a carer to her 89-year-old husband, Graeme, who has vascular dementia, she is refreshingly honest.
“It’s tough!” she says. “But I am making the best of the situation.”
It’s National Carers Week from October 13-19 and time to focus on people like Kay, who represents the one-in-nine Australians caring and supporting a family member or friend.
Kay and Graeme Francis have been married for 28 years and share a big blended family of five children and nine grandchildren. Their lives have been busy and eventful. They worked in Melbourne, travelled widely including caravanning around Australia and shared many adventures. One of those was moving to Gippsland where they bought a 20 acre property and started farming medicinal herbs. Eventually they sold the farm and moved to Harcourt in Castlemaine 22 years ago where they set up a catering business.
They’re still in the home they love, but had to give up the catering business as it became too hard with Graeme’s deteriorating health. His diagnosis came four years ago, and the once razor-sharp engineer now has a workshop of tools standing idle at home.
“He’s very frustrated because he wants to do all the things he used to be able to do, like woodwork, playing golf and driving a car,” Kay explains.
Kay is making the best of the situation and says it’s mostly thanks to the respite care they receive through Graeme’s government-funded home care package with Uniting AgeWell. “The staff at Uniting AgeWell are absolutely brilliant. I cannot fault them on anything,” says Kay. “They are always there when we need them. The care workers are so kind.”
Kay and Graeme get help around the house. Graeme goes out each week with others from Uniting AgeWell. They travel by bus and usually finish up with lunch at a café or hotel.
A Uniting AgeWell care worker also takes him each week to the swim centre for Exercise Physiology in the pool.
This is precious time out for Kay to recharge her batteries. “I use the time to play golf,” she says. “In summer I play lawn bowls too. I also like volunteering at the local op shop – I sort out and price the donated second hand books. You get some real bargains there!”
She is hugely grateful that a dear friend she has known since school lives next door. They go for a 6km walk every morning, along with Kay’s Border Collie, Jess. “We talk about anything and everything and have a bit of a giggle. It’s good to be able to talk to my network of good friends. It means I’m not lonely.”
Kay also loves knitting, reading and working in her little garden.
Being a carer means thinking ahead and having a Plan B in place. Kay has been working with Uniting AgeWell Care Advisor David Wojtowyez to have contingency plans in train should she get ill and be unable to care for Graeme.